38 week update

"Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch." - E.B. White, Charlotte's Web 

Here I am. 38 weeks, sitting in my girl's completed nursery as the sun rises this morning with too much filling my mind (and body) to sleep any longer.

Sleep is hard lately because of round ligament pain and contractions and having to pee every hour anyway. Add to that the anticipation of meeting my little girl and... yeah. I am awake quite a lot. So I tucked myself into the rocking chair with a blanket and a bag of trail mix (my latest craving besides carrots) and a glass of water to write until my boys wake up.

I've entered that phase of pregnancy where I begin to feel like a ticking time bomb. This being the fourth time around I feel very chill about the whole thing, instead of confused and frustrated like I did the first time. The way I go into labor is a pretty long and drawn out process, but I've come to expect that now. Timeable contractions anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes apart for days and days and days. And while they are uncomfortable, and sometimes hard enough that I need to close my eyes and stop what I'm doing to sit down and breathe through them, they are not the intensity of real labor contractions, and they are all moving me along slowly but surely, so that by the time I do go into "real labor" I don't have far to go. I was 1 cm at 34 weeks, 3 cm a week ago. My next appt is tuesday, and I imagine I will be at least 4 by then. I have been 4 or more by the time I have gone into labor with all of my babies. Half way there to start is worth all this crazy build up to me. So instead of timing contractions and feeling the pain only to have them spread back out again feels normal to me, not frustrating anymore. Besides the contractions and slow progress, my body has shown me other signs that I am preparing and labor is close (like within a week or so away). EEEE!!!!!! Last night I got to go on a much anticipated,  last pre-baby date with Shaun, and I loved it. I did get a little scared while we were out because my contractions became consistently 5-7 minutes apart all through dinner and were a bit harder than usual. We hadn't put any of our hospital bags in the car before we left, and I couldn't imagine going back for any of them before driving to the hospital... I feel like labor might be pretty quick this time. (I've already researched what to do in case you accidentally have your baby at home- hopefully that is not the case).

I wear pretty much the same leggings and t-shirt almost every day now, and I've spent the past week nesting hardcore. Monday I set out with Isaiah and Jaden and ran errands from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. It was freezing that day, so every stop required not just the usual car seat bucklings and unbucklings, but also the putting on and taking off , the zipping and unzipping of heavy winter coats. As we were leaving our first stop Jaden had just bundled up and tucked his little hands into his pockets to go out into the cold. He turned toward me and began to run and said "Wait, me, Mommy!" And as he started to run he tripped and because his hands were buried in his pockets he fell flat on his face and got the worst bloody lip... I felt so bad for him, sweet boy, and carried him back to the car with him bleeding and crying on my shoulder. That first stop was the hardest, because it had involved city parallel parking and meter paying and the bloody lip. After the bloody lip was cleaned up and Jaden was ok again we went to Michael's for yarn to finish baby girls blanket that I've been working on for months, then the mall to exchange wrong-size Christmas gifts, then the gap outlet to exchange Isaiah's Christmas pajamas that he didn't like and refused to wear because "they looked like paint ball clothes" to him... He picked out race car pajamas instead. Then to goodwill to drop off donations, then chic-fila for lunch (hallelujiah chorus, also, Jaden calls it Chicken fway and it is adorable) Then to my dr appointment. Then to target. Then to the West Elm outlet. And then finally, finally home. I was exhausted but had gotten pretty much every errand checked off my list. Tuesday I spent the morning undecorating from Christmas. Then I finished her blanket, and we had family dinner with Shaun's family like we do every week. Wednesday my mom came over and, bless her, cleaned both of our upstairs bathrooms while I vaccuumed and dusted and straightened all our bedrooms. That night Shaun and I made dinner together and made two of our family's favorite casserole (chicken divan) so we could add another meal to the freezer. Thursday I spent sweeping and rearranging furniture in our downstairs so we had space to set up our pack and play again. I also changed out the linens on our bed and washed everything, folded and put away a bunch of laundry and did some kitchen organization. That night I had my hair appointment (another thing I was hoping to squeeze in before she came) Friday I spent all day just being with my boys. Drew doesn't have school on Fridays, so I got to be with all three of them. We only had one, close by errand to run, and besides that we played and snuggled and I rested on the sofa and we had a picnic lunch in the living room watching the Lorax, with clementine Izzes to drink. I made a roast chicken with carrots and potatoes for dinner. The day had started off with Isaiah trying to climb the curtains that hang over our back sliding door, and snapping the curtain rod pieces in half. Enter nesting eye twitch here. So Shaun brought home a new rod and while dinner finished roasting he drilled holes that sprayed drywall dust onto the freshly swept floors, but he got that curtain rod fixed and the curtains hung back up, and I swept up that enemy drywall dust asap, and the nesting nightmare was averted. Phew. Saturday was more nesting, I finished cleaning her car seat base, and we took the rest of the Christmas boxes to the attic, and I polished the fridge and trash can and water filter system and the inside of the microwave and hung the last piece of art in her room. (I'm not sure why I need a clean trash can and microwave to bring home a newborn, but I just do.... every time. And I am not very fond of cleaning the microwave.) Then it was time for date night :)

And p.s., also during the nesting phase, during the week between christmas and new years shaun built this hutch for our baby girl and the boys all helped paint it. 

Now this morning I think we are going to just have church as a family here at home before we go to my parents' for lunch. I imagine today will be a day where I try to just rest. I'm making an effort to mix days like that into the bunch. I don't know what I will do all week next week since I already did most everything I needed to before she comes this past week, but I'm sure I'll find new things to clean and organize. :)

There have been multiple times in the last couple of weeks where I suddenly realize how close I am to meeting her and holding her for the first time. And it brings me to tears to think about looking into her eyes and beginning to know who she is. I was telling Shaun how it feels like there is this whole deep, unique well of love that is specific to each of our boys in my heart. Depending on which one I am relating to or thinking about they tap into a place that is all their own inside of me that is just overflowing with adoration and emotion and love for exactly who they are. And I can feel that deep place forming and filling for our daughter already, the intense love and affection I feel for her that is about to be tapped into for the first time as she adds her own presence and personality and life into it. I seriously can not wait to hold her and kiss her and begin to pour this love out on her. And to see each of my boys and my husband do the same... We are all feeling so much anticipation for her to join our family.

Jaden Saylor: Two year old snapshot

My littlest man. His birthday post has been a long time coming. Months before he turned two even I have been itching to record his little mannerisms and quirks. The more you have to write and the less time you have to do it though, the more intimidating it becomes. Sometimes you just have to stomp your foot on your own procrastination and just tell yourself to just do it already. So this post can't possibly contain every single thing that I love about my baby boy, or convey every little remembrance of his sweetness and originality. I don't have nearly the length of time I'd like right now. But I'll do my best. 

It was so fun to take his two year old pictures. We had talked about taking his pictures under a tree full of yellow leaves. Every time we passed it he would say "take, pitors, eddow, eaves?" Sadly it rained most of the days during the tree's peak color, so we came up with a plan b. Just like this post, I stopped procrastinating and just worked with what I had. We went into his closet and I pulled out my favorite orange sweater of his, some little gray cordouroys and sweet white shoes. And then, because my saylor boys LOVES accessories, we added a newsie hat, glasses and a bow tie. Seriously, this boy loves his hats and glasses. (He is so fun to dress because he lets me layer things on him and will wear whatever I pick out.) Then I picked an industrial little nook of town and we took his photos there. I told him I was taking him to a cool place for his pictures. Each time we'd move to another background for pictures he would excitedly say "nother one, coo pace!"

I think these with the ivy are my favorites. 

He is so sweet the way he folds his little hands and crosses his ankles when he is laying on the ground looking at a book or playing with toys... he loves to play with tiny things and holds them so carefully in his little fingers as he sets them up and moves them around. He doesn't get frustrated easily, just carefully goes about what he is doing and keeps trying until he gets it how he wants it. 

His eyes were the bluest blue until this past June, and then they all of the sudden began to change to a more green color. When he wears a green shirt they look especially hazel/green. He is the most cuddly, snuggly little fellow you'll ever meet. He would spend morning to night in my arms every day if he could. He is always standing by my side reach up saying "hold me, Mommy!!" And he loves to snuggle at night. He feels like such a big boy now that he is moved into Drew and Isaiah's room and has his own bed, but he still asks nightly to "eep, mommy, daddy's oom." (Sleep in mommy and daddy's room)  He switches out the funniest consonants in his speech patterns. He sometimes switches c's for m's, even though he can say c sounds. For example he always me when he sees another car coming, and he says "mommy! car mommin'!!" His s's are usually w's. He is so perceptive and caring, and he can tell when I'm having a contraction or hurting. He looks at me and says "warry, mommy, warry mommy, warry mommy" (sorry mommy) until the contraction ends. He loves to play outside, and when he asks to he says "go, pay, outwide." This year Santa Claus was Wanta caus, or if he was really excited and rushing saying it, just Wan Caus. He loved singing Jingle bells and go tell it on the mountain this year, and would just sing to himself as he played. And if he heard the song Hark the Herald angels sing he would follow it up with "Mayee Tismas Tarwee Bwown!!" (Merry Christmas Charlie Brown) said in the sweetest little voice with his adorable bashful smile on his face. Then on Christmas Eve he cracked us all up switching back and forth between his sweet little voice and a hands-over-his-mouth darth vader sounding Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. And while we're on the subject of Christmas, Jaden was so sweet opening gifts this year. He was so grateful and excited for everything he got, be it a matchbox car, or a plain white t-shirt (that he wanted to put on over his sweater right away) or his little backpack we gave him that he filled with all his presents and wanted to wear constantly. I think his backpack and his own personal chap stick might have been his favorite gifts. He loves the little animals we gave him to play with their new barn too. 

He has been so adorable in my pregnancy, he will sit and wait so patiently with both hands on my belly to feel his baby sister move. He calls her by her first and middle name, and his version is SO sweet. There is about no better feeling than kissing his still squishy baby cheeks and getting kisses from his perfect little lips. He is nestled into one side of me as I've been typing this. After nap time each day he needs me to just sit and hold him for at least ten minutes while he finishes waking up and gets his love tank filled. He loves to be read to and put stickers in his sticker book. He has the cutest scrunch face ornery smile. I will randomly find him sitting on the floor next to Zion petting him so gently. Basically, Jaden Saylor is the little sweetheart we couldn't live without. Shaun and I often nudge each other and just point to him to get the other one to watch whatever cuteness he is in his own little world doing at the moment. We adore him. He adds so much sweetness to our lives. 

My Jaden love- 

You are so precious. Our hearts are filled to overflowing with our special love for you, our baby boy. Yes, that about sums it up. Filled to overflowing and completely smitten by you. 

Thank you Jesus for blessing us with Jaden.

***UPDATE***
I left out so many little things I thought of later. The way he says I love you... Luffoo, said very quiet and soft. My favorite s words that he substitutes w for... wocks (socks) and waywor boy (saylor boy).  And the way he says "emme swee it." (let me see it) How he says "No, I do it," about everything now. How he thinks he is hilarious when he burrows down into my body pillow and takes my spot just before bed. He calls the body pillow a bird nest.  How he makes a much higher pitched sound of the home improvement "eeehhhh?" when something is surprising to him.

Drew Elisha: 6 Year Old Snapshot

Well, it's between the hours of 4 and 6 am, so I am wide awake as usual. Baby girl has the hiccups. And I have heartburn. And since I can't sleep anyway, I thought I'd write. So I'm tucked into the rocking chair in the nursery with a blanket, reflecting on my Drew bug. And as always, I can't even begin to think about all that he is without the tears and fierce mama love and emotion beginning to rise to the surface. 

My forever firstborn baby. Those moments of him coming into the world, stealing my heart, and changing the course of who I would be for the rest of my life are sealed into my memory for always. I'll never forget being so, so tired, Shaun sleeping in the fold out sofa next to me in the hospital room, Drew sleeping in my arms. And I knew I should be asleep too, but I just couldn't stop my eyes from tracing and re-tracing the curves of his cheeks, his silky dark hair, his sweet little almond eyes. And realizing I would lay down my life for this tiny soul I barely knew yet. Oh my goodness, Drew Elisha, you had me from the very beginning.

So who are you now, baby? You are six. You are six, and I don't know where the time has gone, but I haved loved every second of getting to know who exists within that precious little soul of yours. You started school this fall. And it was so hard to let you go. But you are more than surviving it, you are thriving. And I am so proud of you. Those first days of kindergarten when you would come home and I'd ask who you played with at recess and you'd tell me you went down the slide a few times and then sat in the shade underneath of it because it was too hot outside I wanted so desperately to come to school and help you make friends, to pull you out of your shy observation mode and let everyone see the beaming light of personality within you. But I had to let you do it on your own. And you have, sweet boy. You have and I am so proud of you. Now you come home and tell me about the games you make up and your friends play with you on the playground. Being dinosaurs and chasing the girls (how in the world is THAT happening already?!?!)... you have transitioned from observation mode into the little leader that is within you. 

When I brought your cupcakes to school for your birthday and you didn't know I was there yet I got to just watch you. Raising your hand to answer questions, highlighting the words on your page as you went over them, then bumping into your friends' shoulders as you passed them to wash your hands, whispering I don't know what to them and making them laugh... The treasure that you are to me is immeasurable. The joy and bittersweetness as I watch you grow and spread your wings is deeper than anything I've ever experienced before, and more than I ever thought possible. 

That beautiful, radiant smile. Never ever lose it. It is contagious and perfect and transparent and so full of life. That is truth, and you need to believe it.

The mama bear in me wants to protect you and that precious smile from the world. But I know the Lord will teach you to be strong in the face of those who try to steal your smile and shame you into holding in that joy. Jesus make my baby strong. Let that beautiful light shine from him no matter what is said to him by others.  Help him believe the truth about who he is. 

Drew lost his first two teeth... Bottom center, one in August just before school, one in October. He didn't want us to pull them, they just fell out on their own. He was so proud! 

This boy is so perceptive. I was working the other day and he came into my office and told me he was thirsty. I cupped his face in my hands and said goofily something about how I was thirsty too, and that his cup was upstairs on the counter if he needed to go get some water. A few minutes later he was slowly walking back into my office, carrying not just his cup, but a cup of water for me too. And that sweet little close lipped smile was on his face as he set my cup on my desk. I totally melted inside at his thoughtfulness. 

I was cleaning the kitchen one night and I forget what even happened, but he was aggravating Isaiah in some way and instead of just telling him to stop from a distance I came and set next to him and pulled him close to me and told him that I was hurting, that cleaning the kitchen and being on my feet right then was hard for me with a baby in my belly, and that I needed him to be a kind big brother while I finished up. The next thing I knew he was getting a wash cloth out of the drawer and running water on it to wipe down the table for me. When he finished that he asked what else he could do to help. He not only heard me, but he reversed roles on me and did his best to try to care for me. It is a regular occurrence for him to thoughtfully bring me a blanket if he thinks I'm cold, or try to help me up if I'm on the floor playing with them. He helps best when he's not told, when the idea comes to him all by himself. Those moments blow me away. I cannot believe his sweet and thoughtful heart.

And of course sweet boy, as much as I adore that angel side of you, you are also a six year old boy. And you come home from school full of pent up energy from trying to be good all day and practically tackle Isaiah the moment you walk through the door, and I have to occasionally drag you off of him, and then you say the word poop about 5,000 times throughout the remainder of the day, since you've been holding that in all day too.  And to a six year old boy there is apparently nothing funnier than the word poop. I secretly kind of love it, but of course tell you that you probably should just refrain from saying it at the dinner table, because that's what moms do... they try to teach you manners even when they think your lack of them are slightly (or incredibly) hilarious. 

That serious face. Ahh!! You try so hard sometimes to hide your deep emotions behind a serious face. You often turn away or bite your tongue when you are particularly happy about something. And you cover your face when you are hurting too. Just know, my baby, that you never ever need to hide your emotion and your feelings from your heavenly father. It is ok to be seen. You are loved so completely. There is nothing you could ever do to lose the love that is in my heart for you. 

I love to watch you build legos. You carefully open your instruction book and follow each step, sorting through pieces, picking up the right ones in your sweet little fingers, attaching it just so,  until you've made the back hoe or battleship or airplane you set out to make, and then you proudly drive/sail/fly it from room to room showing everyone what you'd built. You have such a gift as an artist too. I can't believe the things you draw, your creativity at this age. When you learn to draw something new you will draw it over and over and over again. Two of your favorite things to draw right now are turkeys and sharks. The other day you drew candy canes just to show me you could. You come home with coloring pages from school that you drew all over the back of... penguins and peacocks and crabs and all kinds of things... I love your artwork more than you will ever know. When you are particularly excited about a project you did at school but didn't get to bring home yet you will make it over again at home just to show me what it looked like. You made two little construction paper turkeys from cut out feathers and googly eyes, using a glue stick to carefully attach everything together, and you made them as Christmas gifts for your brothers. The idea was all yours. You love to reproduce your works of art so that everyone in our family has a copy of what you made and love. 

You are learning to read, and you are doing so well with math. You stay in green or blue for your behavior every day at school and you always make me guess what color you got at the end of the day. It is so fun to come through the car pool line at school and see your little smiling face coming out of the building and toward our van. I hope you are always excited to see me that way. It was so, so hard for me to work today while you were off school and home with me. I wanted to spend the day with you painting those Christmas ornaments we've been talking about. But I'm done working now baby until after your baby sister gets here. And I can't think of anything I want more than quality time with you and your brothers over this next month and a half before our family dynamic changes again and I am needed around the clock so completely by a newborn again.

I think your relationship with your baby sister is going to be so incredibly tender and special. I am so excited to watch you with her. Isaiah is practically your twin best friend that you can't remember life without and you treat as your equal. Jaden is littler enough than you that you nurture him and teach him more and try to still carry from him place to place (even when he is resisting). And the age difference will be enough between you and baby girl this time that the nurturing side will come out even more in you. I can tell by the way you try to hide your smile when we talk just how excited you are for her to be here. :) 

Oh sweet boy, there is so much more I could say. When you read these words someday, I pray you are filled to overflowing with the knowledge that you are loved and treasured, that you always have been, that you always will be. That you are a gift this world desperately needs. That you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That who you are is more than enough. That the gift of leadership and creativity within you is for a purpose. Jesus make my boy strong when I can't always be there with him. Lead him gently and protect his heart. Help him freely pour out his beautiful personality and that contagious smile. 

Drew, even when you stop calling me mommy and switch to mom someday, even as you grow up and become more and more independent, even as change is sure to come, one thing will never change. To me, you will always be that precious, sleeping baby in my arms, with the soft little cheeks that mesmerized me then and still do as I cup them and look into your eyes now. One day you will grow taller than me. One day I will look up into those brown, almond eyes instead of down. But you will always be my firstborn. You will always be fiercely loved by your mama. You will always be my baby. 

xoxo

Isaiah Matthew: 4 year old snapshot

This is way late, but better late than never. I haven't been able to find much time for writing lately, but I am determined to try to change that. I've done a post about each of my boys near their birthdays the last few years. So Isaiah turned 4 August 31st. It's high time I write a little something about this boy that I am so privileged to call mine. My middle son. There is no one else like him. 

He loves the park, whether it's going down the big curvy slide or swinging on the swings or feeding the fish in the pond... So one morning we fit in a special trip there for some four year old pictures. 

Those green shorts are his favorite. He is so particular about clothes, and has been since he was two. He's getting better about just putting on what I lay out for him in the morning without arguing (much) anymore, but he always prefers jeans over sweatpants, and he likes shirts that look like what Shaun would wear... v-necks and henleys and plain grays or stripes... the kid has fashion sense I tell you. When I have questions about what to wear I ask him. And he loves to be in the spotlight making people laugh. He says the funniest things. And he was so much fun to take pictures of, his little mannerisms are so photogenic. 

He has a perpetual problem with his little hiney crack showing. He loves to eat meat. And fruit and cheese. But he really likes meat. He says red and green and orange and white are his favorite colors. He loves to go places. He is always asking where we're going each day. Church and his grandparents and aunts and uncles houses are favorites for him. He has this cute sounding little cartoon voice where he talks all high-pitched and raspy when he is really excited about something. He has two volumes, loud, and louder. He is super passionate and excited about e.v.er.y.t.h.i.n.g. He has been writing his name since he was three, and knows all his letters and numbers. He wants to keep up with everything Drew does. He is independent and tries to do things himself. Whether it's making a cheese and mayo sandwich (something he learned from Shaun, not me) or putting on his own shoes or geling his own hair... he just wants to try to do it himself.
I have honestly never been more proud of him than I am in this season.... since Drew started school especially, but even before that, he is just the best helper. Anything I ask him to do he does right away, and does a great job. He feeds his fish, who he named Little House, he feeds Zion, he gets the mail, he carries in groceries and unpacks the bags... the other day Jaden dumped a card game all over the living room floor, and I asked Isaiah to clean it up. He not only stacked the cards perfectly in their tray and put it back in the box, but he put the box back in the cabinet too. When he plays he is organized and gets all the pieces to whatever toy he is playing with first, parks his tractors in neat little rows, lines up his matchbox cars, and can play for hours giving cute little voices to his different toys and imagining all kinds of plots and battles and dramatic situations.... I love to listen to him play.
He dreams a lot, (probably gets its from me) and tells me his crazy dreams most mornings. He was sure this baby that I'm carrying was a baby sister, and he was right. Sometimes he tells me there is another boy coming after this girl. When we asked him recently if he was excited to get bunk beds in their room he said yes. "Because then Drew won't pee on me anymore." He blurts out the funniest things like that all the time. He pulls the crazy stunts and crashes into things and jumps up and says "that didn't hurt!!" and goes running back for more. When he's wrestling, expect to hear him yell phrases like, "ahhhhh! ya got me right in the hangnail!"
One thing we really had to work on was him retaliating and really hurting someone if they made him mad. (I call his feet sledgehammers... he doesn't know his own strength sometimes) I kept telling him, "if someone does something to you, come get mommy, and I will take care of it..." I don't know why it finally clicked, but it did, and he does an AMAZING job of walking away from his brothers, both bigger and littler, if they are instigating, and coming to get me. I am so proud of him for all the times he doesn't do anything back when Jaden messes up what he's working on, or when Drew is being a typical older brother and antagonizing him... that's not to say that they don't play really well together too, or that it's not sometimes Isaiah who is the one starting the fiasco, just, they all have their moments.... :)

He is full of the sweetest smiles and snuggles and gives the biggest, most wonderful hugs.He comes at you with his arms wide open and then grunts while he squeezes your neck with all his might.
I love when he comes into our room in the morning to climb into bed and get all cozy next to me and he says in his little smiley voice, "you're so warm mommy!"
I can not imagine life without Isaiah. I hope he always knows the treasure he is to our family.
We love him so.

Happiest fourth year to you, baby. 

A (Non-DIY) 30th birthday party for my favorite man

I haven't had time to write nearly like I've wanted to lately. I could write post after post on what Shaun means to me, the amazingness that our marriage is, the beautiful places the Lord is leading us. I hope it's not annoying to say that I think my marriage is amazing... It's actually extremely humbling and wondrous to me when I say it... It's something we've been putting a ton of effort into, learning how to be deep and vulnerable and honest and protective of each other. Learning to be a safe place for each other. Learning that in the midst of kids and more busyness than we've ever known before we need to be more intentional than we imagined, but it's worth more than any other investment we will ever make. But it's honestly nothing we've accomplished on our own... It is all and only because of the Lord. He is so faithful, he writes the most beautiful stories, and he used circumstances from the past few years to set the stage perfectly for us to come to this point. It is my favorite season of our relationship yet, and I am so excited to see where He takes us from here.

 

All that to say, Shaun just had his 30th birthday on August 15th. I had been thinking for years that I wanted to have a surprise party for him when he turned 30. And this may have been my favorite party I've ever thrown. As it went, Shaun found out I was having a party for him when he accidentally saw a facebook message between me and someone who was invited to the party... however, he didn't know the details like where it was, who was coming, what the food would be etc until the night it happened. As badly as I wanted to have that "surprise!!!" moment, it did take some stress off me once he knew that I was putting together a party. I could double check some things with him that I had been having the hardest time making decisions about.

 

Because of this season in life, and because I was still sick when I started planning the party and just feeling better when it was finally here, I went for something that would be as amazing as possible, with the least stress and most enjoyment for me. As much as I love DIY parties and adding cute little touches of my own, that was not the route I was headed this time.

 

I decided to throw him a party with our closest friends, most who have known us as long as we've been a couple, some who've known us long before we knew each other, and a few others who we've grown close to along the way. We rarely get a night out with friends without kids these days, so I thought it would be fun to have a classy, relaxing party with just adults... I rented a room in the Montgomery house at the Penn Square Marriott, and the room was perfect... just the right size to create a cozy, intimate atmosphere that was still big enough to accommodate about 30 people. Half of the room was set up with smaller cocktail size tables and half of the room was set up with comfy sofas and chairs like a fancy living room with a fire place.

 

These were the stairs that led to the room where the party was.

 

For food we had lots of yummy appetizers. The party was at 7:00, and I wanted people to mingle and talk and go back for more food as often as they wanted, so appetizers made more sense than a meal. We had pizza, and mini sliders on pretzel rolls, and wings and soft pretzels with dip and, my personal favorite, a nacho bar with bomb guacamole. 

 

For drinks we had strawberry mint water (in the coolest pitchers) and a cash bar. And then the cakes... they were homemade deliciousness by a friend of ours in exchange for a photo shoot I did for them. Caramel Apple Bundt cakes, and they were SO SO good!! 

It was so much fun spending the evening with all our best friends, and seeing them all interact too... I didn't want it to end! 



We sang happy birthday and then we all pulled chairs into a circle in the living room part of the room to share our funniest memories of Shaun... We laughed and laughed and laughed... I married such a hilarious and unique man... stories about his extreme competitive side, whether it was hockey or settlers of catan, him fainting when I was getting the epidural with Drew and forgetting his wallet on our first date, many stories of him in his underwear (some things never change) stories of him in his convertible that flooded (so there was several inches of water in the bottom in the summer and a sheet of ice in the winter), him shooting cows with his air soft gun on his drive to church with the top down in that same convertible, stories of him preparing for the end of the world (that was a recent one) and then there were some really sentimental moments mixed in, stories of him staying up praying all night, sharing his heart when he was really young... stories that brought tears to my eyes. I can't describe the overwhelming amount of love I felt in the room that night. To be surrounded by people who know you and love you and want to celebrate you... the closeness and sentimentality and laughter and bond that we share... It was really amazing. We couldn't stop talking about what amazing friends we have on our drive home. It makes me want to cry just to think about it. I am so thankful for the people God has placed in our lives to lift us up, surround us, support us, laugh and cry with us. Looking around the room and thinking of the things we've been through. The way someone rushed to our house and beat the ambulance there when Drew had his first seizure. The way someone else stayed overnight in the hospital to help keep Shaun and Drew awake for a test they needed to run in the morning when he had his second seizure. People who have brought us meals when we've brought home newborns. People who have celebrated pregnancies with us, prayed with us in hard times, know our stories inside and out and love us all the same. People who have given us words of encouragement, made a point to give us cards on our birthdays full of spiritual encouragement, people we lead a church with, worship with weekly, and who sharpen us to be better. Siblings we've grown up with and shared life with from the beginning, and the amazing spouses they've each married. My sister and her husband weren't able to be there because of their recent move to Minnesota, and Randi cried on the phone as I told her about the party because she'd wanted to be there so badly.

 

I love these amazing people so much, and missed the few that weren't able to be there. 

 

I know all about how to have a party that photographs pretty. There's nothing wrong with that. I know all about how to spend a ton of time on the decorations. I know how to stress myself out preparing all the food myself, and arranging to have people bring things to the party to help. I just didn't want to have a pinterest party for Shaun's party. Instead, I let the Marriott take care of everything. I didn't even tell them what I wanted in the centers of the tables. When we got there I saw there were tea light candles, and they were perfect. After all, a party isn't about the things at all. Things can help add to the atmosphere, but the party is about the people. The only thing we did when we got there was hook Shaun's phone up to the speaker system to play the red hot chili peppers Pandora station during the party. I enjoyed myself so much.... There were two waiters and a bartender making sure the food stayed warm and replenished, that the pitchers stayed full, they even lit the birthday candles for me. I spent all my time with the people. And it was glorious.

I really didn't take many pictures at all for the four hours we were there. I'm glad I have the ones I do to remember the party by, but my goal is not to have people "pin" these pictures and try to recreate this look... my goal was that for those four hours we spent there, that we made the most of every moment and came away with our hearts full. I honestly couldn't fall asleep that night for all the things I wanted to stay up remembering.

 

Shaun loved it. It was a night I'll look back and smile on forever. Thank you to everyone who came and made it so special!!