Let's talk about hair

I think my hair is the longest and healthiest it has ever been right now.... I kind of accidentally stumbled onto some hair care routines that I think contribute to this, and I'd love to share them with you!

1. Stop Washing it So much! :)
I wash my hair approximately 26-30 times... a year.... I know, I know, that's about how often most people wash it in a month. But yes.... I wash it about every two weeks, give or take. You probably fall into one of two categories right now... you either a.) think I am gross or b.) you want to know how you too can achieve this glorious freedom that also brings with it the gift of healthier hair. If you are in category b, keep on reading! If you are in category a, even if you think it's gross, you are probably still curious, so you should keep reading too ;)

Your body produces oil for your hair because it is actually good for it. Every time we wash our hair and strip the oils out of it we are actually depriving our hair of what it needs. The more we strip the oils, the more our body tries to compensate, the more oil is produced, and the more we think we need to wash it. If we could somehow reverse this cycle, the less oil our body will produce, the more will actually make it into our hair, the healthier our hair will be, and the less we will need to wash it. That's kind of the foundation here.

If I want to have long hair, but also have three kids, and don't want to get up at 5:00 a.m. (because, hello, with a baby still waking up in the night after 14 months, I gotta sleep when I can), and I'd like to look semi put together and don't want to leave the house with my hair wet in a ponytail any time I'm going somewhere, something's gotta give... I don't have time for long luxurious showers, blow dries, styling and then still have time to put on makeup and choose something other than sweatpants to wear. Besides being long my hair is also thick, and it takes a long time to wash and dry. So instead of washing it daily or even every other day, about two years ago I started washing it only twice a week. Then I moved to just once a week. Now I'm down to every two weeks. I doubt I will do it any less frequently than that, but this is seriously a life-changing wonder. On the days I am not washing my hair I still have time to jump in the shower with my hair in a bun or wrapped in a towel to keep it from getting wet (you could also use a shower cap), do a minimal makeup routine, and get dressed in about 15 minutes, without worrying about my hair at all. And I actually love it more than ever. My least favorite hair day is the first day or two it's been washed. It only gets better with time. On the days you are washing your hair, make sure that you comb it out with a wide tooth comb while you are still in the shower and the conditioner is still in your hair to detangle with minimal breakage.

(In the photo below it had been exactly two weeks since I washed my hair... one week of that time had been spent at the beach no less.... in other words, there was probably sand in my scalp, but my hair still looked and felt fluffy and clean)

Here are my secrets for how to go longer between washing your hair:

2. Dry Shampoo// Baby Powder
When//if you first start this journey, you might need to use this type of product more often. I usually wait til about day three to use anything. But let me back up. If you don't know about the miracle of dry shampoo, well then hang onto your coffee mugs, because your world is about to be rocked. There are lots of expensive brands you can buy, or you can do the less expensive route and use baby powder (like I do). When I feel like my hair is starting to look a bit flat or oily, I simply comb it all out with a wide tooth comb, then sprinkle a little baby powder at my roots. There are some definite tricks to doing this well. NEVER apply baby powder right where your part is, or you will look like you have gray hair or a white scalp, or both. Using your pointer finger, run your finger through your hair and part it slightly to the left or the right of your part, put baby powder on your palm, and then dust your palm over your hair. The further you get from your part then it is ok to start to sprinkle the powder directly onto your roots. Do this all around the crown of your head, then flip your head over and rub it in really well with the tips of your fingers. Flip your hair back and check to make sure it is all rubbed in, repeat if necessary.
If you have blonde hair like mine you can just use the baby powder as is. But if you have darker hair mix a little cocoa powder in to tint it darker, or if you have red hair you can mix in some cinnamon to tint it a more auburn color. If none of these tricks get it to the exact color you need, you can always buy tinted dry shampoo from somewhere like Sephora. Now I don't particularly love the scent of baby powder, but as long as I use a minimal amount, and rub it in well, I never notice the smell. I also spritz my perfume on my hair instead of just my clothes though, so that probably helps.

3. Add Oil to the tips of your hair
You can do this right after your shower, and/or you can do this on the days between washing (as long as you don't use much). My favorite is Moroccan Oil, I know it is expensive but a little goes a long way. I actually haven't had any for a long time (like at least a year), but I am going to try to get some more sometime soon. The purpose of the oil is that it protects your hair from heat damage during blow drying or curling it, and it can add a little shine on days your hair is looking dull. 

4. Curling Wand

Purchase a curling wand. I have only had mine for a few months (this is the one I have), but it is amazing, and I would love to get another one in a bigger size. The curls last so much longer, I can curl my hair once and it will last the full two weeks. The curls get softer and turn into more of waves, but I love the progression. I can even comb through them, braid my hair, wear it in a bun, and still, the curls are there when I take it down. Not only does it save time only having to curl it once, but it only subjects my hair to heat one time for a curl that really lasts. 

You can also get a looser curl by wrapping bigger sections of hair around it (like I did in the photo below) 

 Or you can get a tighter curl by wrapping smaller sections of hair, like I did for my sister's wedding. I should also note, that on my sister's wedding day it had been four days since I'd washed my hair. I still went another week and a half and these curls lasted fabulously the whole time.

5. Products I like
   Bumble & Bumble dryspun finish is a newer product that I really love, I spray it at my roots or all over for a good textured feel and to add some body.
   I'm still super simple with my hair spray and just use Garnier Fructis, but now that I have my curling wand I actually don't even use hair spray very often anymore.
   Matrix shampoo & conditioner are still my favorite. It's expensive, but a bottle lasts a very long time with the limited amount of hair washing I actually do.
  And of course, Moroccan Oil, like I mentioned before.

(Sorry for all the photos, I think I am sub-conciously trying to prove to you that my hair does not look dirty or gross!)

If you want even more tips here are a few extras:
 -using a silk pillow case is more gentle on your hair while you sleep.
 -blow drying your hair on a cooler temp helps prevent breakage.
 -I don't take vitamins specifically for my hair (or at all actually right now) but I have heard good things     about them and they do exist. If you just can't seem to grow your hair past a certain length they might be worth looking into.


I hope all this info was helpful in some way, if it seems like too much to digest my recommendation would be to buy a good brand of shampoo//conditioner and some baby powder and just try spacing out your hair washing by an extra day and see how that goes. I'm sure this isn't for everyone, but it's been a huge time saver with the unexpected blessing of healthier hair for me, so I just had to share :)

Here's to many happy hair days!

xoxo

Sisters

Before I wrote a blog, before I dreamed of being a photographer one day, before I was a mother, a wife, before I graduated college or fell in love or made it through highschool, before I learned to drive or cried over my first boy or liked to go shopping, before I played my first sport or learned to ride a bike or made my first friend, before I had my first day of school, or knew my favorite color or favorite food, before I have many memories at all, I had a sister. 

That chubby little blonde haired blue eyed baby girl was my real live baby doll, who first gave me a taste of what it would one day be like to be a mommy. We learned to play, we learned to fight, we learned to make up, we figured out how to navigate jealousy and sharing attention and working out arguments, we shared a bedroom and clothes and late night giggles. We vented, we contemplated, we solved, we rested... I'm pretty sure there's no one in the world quite like a sister. They not only know the woman you became, but they know why you became that woman too. Those sweet memories of childhood and life shaping moments and first impressions are only shared with a few. And your sister is one of them. 

Today my sister set out on the next part of the amazing story of her life. She has left before, for college, but she graduated in three years and came back, and she lived with my parents again for the last year and a half. Somehow the fact that she was still there made it feel like our childhood sister chapter wasn't quite over yet. This morning I hugged her goodbye, drove down the road and parked my van. Then I watched her climb into a packed car and back out of my parent's driveway for the last time of it being "her house." I'm so proud of her and so excited for her. And I'll miss her so much.

Digital photos didn't enter our world very big until 2005. But the following are some of my favorites from the past nine years. 

So many adventures: 

One of her homecomings. I was always the hairdresser. 

My graduation from college:

Fellow Hopskotchy:

More adventures:

My bachelorette party. 

My Rehearsal Dinner: 

Being sisters:

Morning of my wedding day:

In our major Colbie Caillat era: 

Hopskotches Forever. 

Posing like you can only with a sister. :) 

The night of my baby shower for Drew. And other stories. Like going to the er and stories about long walks in the woods... 

The night before I had my first baby. 

The kinds of things that went back and forth in the mail while Nan was at Liberty. 

More adventures. 

Always with our tea and coffee... This time in an RV. 

Girls weekend in Connecticut. Pregnant with my second baby... 

Formal Hospskotches.

Baby sister graduates college. 

Easter:

Thanksgiving:

Pregnant with my third baby:

Still little girls at heart... Just grown up now. 

Last girls outing before she left today. Again with coffee and tea. 

 Saying goodbye:

Watching her drive away. Funny how foggy it was this morning... I know this is probably just sentimental me making metaphors out of anything, but I was crying and watching her leave and as she pulled out and drove into the fog it felt like how I feel. I know that she's going to be within driving distance away (5 hrs). I know that we will still call and talk and stay in touch. I know that I will see her on our beach vacation this summer. But there's just lots of unknowns this time too. I don't know when/if we will live within "drop-in" distance of each other again. Spontaneity has always been such a fun part of our relationship and we will have to be better at planning things out ahead of time to see each other now. I know it will work, and it will be fine, and we will figure out how to make the distance seem small. But it was still hard watching her drive into the fog. 

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."  

-Marion C. Garretty

"What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it with?"  

-Jenny DeVries

"If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater."  

-Pam Brown

"The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble."  

-Clara Ortega

And my favorite:

"To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other's hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time."  

-Clara Ortega

Jaden's Birth Story, My Awesome Experience with Castor Oil & Things you should know.

Let me start by saying that my experience with Castor oil was AMAZING, and I wish I would have used it with my other two pregnancies as well.

I think most of us have some pre-concieved ideas about using castor oil to induce labor. I know I sure did. However, I did a good bit of research on it this time and talked to a friend who had real-life, recent experience using it-who is also a nurse-and I decided to try it. My experience was so incredible and wonderful that I have to share it on here.

Ok, so I used to think that castor oil was some sort of dark, motor oil type substance, I thought you had to drink a ton of it, and I knew it could dehydrate you. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I was pretty against ever even looking into it, let alone trying it.

However, with both of my first two pregnancies they had to use pitocin in order for my labor to progress, even when my water had broken at home and labor had begun on its own. Maybe not a big deal if you get an epidural and don't feel anything, but with my second pregnancy I did not get an epidural, and the last 4 hours of my labor on pitocin were horrible. No breaks between contractions, no time to get back in control of my pain or breathe, just screaming and crying and trying to pray my way through for hours. I knew I didn't want an epidural again this time, but I did NOT want to be on pitocin for any reason. So when my doctors were recommending that I be induced on October 21st (one week before my due date) because of my history of having large babies, and I realized that my choices were to either most likely be induced and on pitocin again, or to try a natural, labor inducing method (castor oil) I opted for the latter. (Please know, there are other natural ways of trying to induce labor... and we had tried those, and they didn't seem to be doing the trick.... I'll leave it at that ;) )

Here's what I learned in my research: castor oil is made from the seed of the castor plant (basically a type of vegetable oil) it's clear, doesn't have much taste, is sold over the counter at most pharmacies, and you only have to take 2 tablespoons. Very different than I thought at first. It causes diarrhea for most people, which is why it can dehydrate you, so over the course of the morning I drank a 1/2 gallon of water prior to taking any, and then was working on finishing another 1/2 gallon before I went to the hospital.

IMPORTANT:

*If your body is not showing any signs of going into labor soon on its own, castor oil probably won't work for you and shouldn't be tried. I knew that I was already dilated to 4 cm four days prior to taking it and had been having contractions for days and days that were fairly regular. I also knew that my doctors felt it was safe for me to have my baby on the 21st as I would be 39 weeks and they had recommended I be induced on that day anyway. It's very important not to try to force baby out by using castor oil if you are not close to or past your due date or if your body is not showing any signs that it is ready for labor. ALSO, if you use it make sure you are super hydrated first.*

So here's my story:
Shaun was working on Monday the 21st and wouldn't be home until 3:30. I decided to wait until the afternoon to take it so that I could be sure he would be home in case it did put me into labor. I got up around 8:00 a.m. and filled up a half gallon jar with water. Throughout the morning I steadily kept drinking with my goal being to have finished a 1/2 gallon before taking the castor oil at 1:30. I did little things around the house, played outside with the boys, and just tried to have a normal day. At 1:00 p.m. I called Shaun and made sure he was absolutely sure I should take it, he said to go for it, so I mixed two tablespoons of the oil with a glass of juice and got it down by 1:30. (Not a fun consistency to drink, I'll tell you that) I knew that for most people it will cause something to happen within two hours, usually diarrhea. By 3:30 nothing had happened for me and I was trying to resign myself that it might not work. (I never did have the stomach cramps or diarrhea that often are side effects of using castor oil to induce labor- woo hoo!) I was still drinking water just in case, and by 4:00 I started to notice that my contractions were seeming to be a little bit more frequent than before. I told Shaun I was going to lay down on the sofa to rest, and Drew and Isaiah would randomly come snuggle with me for a little bit. Every so often I'd ask Shaun what time it was. Although my contractions were not painful and no more intense than before, they were consistently about every 8 minutes. I still wasn't getting my hopes up. By 5:00 Shaun told me that he was going to make eggs for dinner. I told him thank you because I just didn't feel like cooking at the moment. I sat up on the sofa and started noticing that my contractions seemed to be closer than 8 minutes apart. I started watching the clock and writing down times myself. After having about 5 or 6 contractions that were consistently 3-5 minutes apart I told Shaun I was going to go finish packing. About halfway upstairs I had a contraction that I could hardly keep walking through. That was a bit different. As I finished packing upstairs I had a few more that stopped me in the middle of what I was doing. I yelled down the stairs that I was going to call the dr. and my mom. Shaun was like "are you serious??!" So I called and my dr. told me to come in and my mom said she'd be over. I went back downstairs and tried to eat a few bites of dinner between contractions and couldn't really. All the while my contractions were getting stronger, but not really hurting. By 6:00 I remember I was at the front door, trying to get my uggs on, having a contraction at the same time and Shaun had to put my boots on for me. By a few minutes after 6:00 Shaun was in the kitchen giving my mom last minute instructions and I was standing on the front porch telling him we had. to. go. NOW.

6:07 we were pulling out of the driveway and I was having a stronger contraction. I was trying to text some of our friends to tell them I was going in and ask them to pray. Ten minutes down the road my sister was calling and I remember telling her I could talk til I had a contraction, then telling her one was starting and I had to go and hanging up. That contraction was really strong and my water broke in the front seat of the truck (thankfully we had put a towel down on the seat) That was about 6:15ish. From that point on Shaun was driving with his four ways on and passing people in turning lanes and rolling down the window at red lights to ask if he could go in front of people.... and I was trying to call my dr to tell them I felt like I was going to have to push soon and I wouldn't be able to walk into the hospital... It was a pretty intense drive!

6:40 we were pulling into women and babies and I was getting out of the car into a wheel chair and being pushed straight to labor and delivery. Once I got into the hospital bed the adenaline rush settled and I started shaking all over, so relieved we had made it to the hospital. When they checked me they said I was 7 cm and baby boy was really low. (No kidding!)

From that point on I had about 2 hours were my contractions spaced out a little and I had these wonderful breaks that I could talk and laugh through. I stayed at 7 cm for those two hours and was actually starting to worry a bit when they started saying they could give me pitocin to jump start my labor again. NO. WAY. So I got out of bed and tried walking the hallways, then came back to my room and sat on the birthing ball next to my bed. I started praying intensely that my body would do what it was made to and that baby would come soon. The whole time Shaun was rubbing my back and I was breathing through contractions and I was listening to the worship play list I had made. My nurse came in and asked if I'd like to try the jacuzzi tub. I said sure. I probably got in the tub a little before 9. I remember saying to Shaun that between contractions I felt great and completely relaxed in the water. (Then during a contraction I wanted to be anywhere but in that hard tub...) My contractions were definitely seeming to be more intense and harder to breathe through. I had three really hard ones in a row, then a little break, then I started having one that sent me to crazy land pain wise, and I tried to jump out of the tub but could hardly stand. Shaun was holding me up under my arms, and my nurse came running in to help, and I was starting to scream, and barely made it back to the bed... It took a few minutes for the doctor to get there during which time they were telling me not to push and I was feeling like that was absolutely impossible and Shaun was cradling my head in his arms and pushing my hair back and telling me it was going to be ok and all the while I was screaming. The doctor finally came in and was awesome giving me super specific instructions what to do and how to push. Jaden was born one minute of pushing later. (It felt like a lot longer than that!!) Looking back on it I couldn't have asked for things to go any better than they did.

It was definitely extremely painful at the very end, but it was such a natural progression, and it was my body in control of it the whole time doing just what it needed to, not something they were pumping into me to force my body to contract harder and more often than necessary.

What finally clicked with me this time around was that everyone's labor is going to be different, and not to be afraid if mine is different than "normal".  Going to birthing classes and what you see on tv/movies makes you think everyone has contractions that get closer and closer together and are extremely consistent and timeable. and that "transition" happens at 7 cm  and that there should be come kind of longer period of time where you feel like you have to push... My labor went fast but was irregular in that my contractions would be close together and hard and then space back out and then get closer and harder again, that I stayed at 7 cm for 2 hrs, and I didn't go into transition until 10 cm when I was ready to push. I am just so thankful I finally got to have this experience of a natural labor start to finish.

I love hearing other people's birth stories, and I thought it would be cool to include another one using castor oil on here in case you're interested in hearing more. So my friend Kendra (the nurse that gave me lots of first hand advice) wrote out her experience and birth story with her daughter Eden, and I'll be posting that tomorrow. :)

some fun links to check out :)

How many of you know that what you put into your mind is what is going to want to come out in your life? And that what you focus your attention on is going to be what you want to re-create? If I am feeling super un-motivated in a certain area, spending a few minutes online looking at some inspirational sources will help me get going. Thought I'd share a few of those here today :)

Luke 6:45 .... out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

K so here are some fun and inspirational sources:

Here are 4 beauty tips (for women who don't normally give a crap is the rest of the title:) ) I just read through these the other day, makes me want to try some of them and simplify my routine so that it can happen everyday :)

Fly lady is an awesome site for cleaning motivation.
There is a LOT of info on this site, so click on either the "today" tab or "getting started" tab and browse around. The more you read, the more it makes you want to get your home in order and under control!
And here's another great post of learning to balance getting things done and making sure we find time to rest too!! And while you're at it, check out this post on intentional and productive rest by the same person. :)

Lastly, looking for a yummy new meal to make? I just found this chicken & broccoli fettucine alfredo recipe, which I haven't tried yet but I have my own version that I made up and could never share accurately with people because I didn't have an exact ingredient list. But this looks very, very similar to my version so I thought I'd share :)

Have fun clicking around!!

my favorite poem ever

anyone lived in a pretty how town (with up so floating many bells down) spring summer autumn winter he sang his didn't he danced his did Women and men(both little and small) cared for anyone not at all they sowed their isn't they reaped their same sun moon stars rain children guessed(but only a few and down they forgot as up they grew autumn winter spring summer) that noone loved him more by more when by now and tree by leaf she laughed his joy she cried his grief bird by snow and stir by still anyone's any was all to her someones married their everyones laughed their cryings and did their dance (sleep wake hope and then)they said their nevers they slept their dream stars rain sun moon (and only the snow can begin to explain how children are apt to forget to remember with up so floating many bells down) one day anyone died i guess (and noone stooped to kiss his face) busy folk buried them side by side little by little and was by was all by all and deep by deep and more by more they dream their sleep noone and anyone earth by april wish by spirit and if by yes. Women and men(both dong and ding) summer autumn winter spring reaped their sowing and went their came sun moon stars rain E.E. Cummings [Hint: if it seems like nonsense, read it again knowing that anyone and noone are two  specific people who fall in love. most beautiful love story ever.]

Kiki & Coco

If you have a little girl, you might want to get this book. (Kiki and Coco in Paris) It's seriously adorable. Big, beautiful photography, a cute girl, a sweet dolly, and a lovely story. 

A few of my favorite pages from the book. I gave one as a gift to a little girl whose parents call her Kiki for her second birthday, and I gave one to friends who are expecting their first little girl as a baby shower gift. You can find it on amazon. My photos don't do it justice. I just had to share this :)