forgiveness

What is forgiveness?
...a choice, not a feeling.
...not pretending you were not hurt.
...not saying they were not wrong.
...not saying you need to trust that person again.
...not removing the responsiblity of action (Jesus forgives the thief but does not remove him from the cross).
Forgiveness is a decision that I make to obey God, and then to walk out forgiveness as a lifestyle - living in a higher realm by not allowing some one else's actions or attitudes to dictate my actions or attitudes. It is releasing them to God while not requiring them to be accountable to me to make it right. It is a willingness to move in the opposite spirit of the one who hurt me, making sure I am willing to be an unrestricted channel of the love of God.


perfect song. please listen to it.  




[I can not take credit for anything in this post. These were notes by Bethany Brown on a teaching she heard in YWAM. The song is by Matthew West.] 


This is post number 2 for me on this subject. Unfortunately my reaction in my first post is not what I would have liked it to be and therefore has not been shared. Thankfully, God is leading me down the path of forgiveness and helping it to become real in my heart. 

Quotes to inspire.

"Don't let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one." 

I am in such an emotional/contemplative mood... Reading this quote for the first time just moments ago nearly brought me to tears. In fact, I am still fighting them. Maybe I should just give in. My sweet boys. My heart and soul. My innocent little babies. I want so badly to be all that I can be as their mom, exactly who they need me to be. But it's a learn-as-you-go kind of job. God, help me. Children come into this world so innocent, so dependent, so pure. Help me protect their innocence, love them through their struggles as they wrestle life and learn who they are, and see their sweetness instead of the tantrum they are throwing. 

"I suppose since most of our hurts come through relationship, so will our healing. And I know grace rarely makes sense from the outside looking in." (The Shack)

Life is so much more complex than I thought it was as a child. All I know is that I want grace and love to prevail in my life. Who am I to judge? By the measure we judge others we too will be judged. I would prefer to always err on the side of mercy. And I want to always choose relationship instead of offense. 

I read my journal from 2004/2005 the other day. God did so much in me. And he continues to. I pray He is never finished with me. Actually, I know He never will be, I just hope I never start to act like He is. The two quotes that helped to begin to change my life: 

"There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain." 

"You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be." 

(Both from The Purpose Driven Life." 

Connor James

 Connor turned one January 23rd, but we waited to do his one year photos for several reasons. It's always nicer to have outdoor photos, and we tried to do them in the spring but it kept getting pushed back for one reason or another... The day we finally did them was HOT, but there was a nice breeze and Connor was a champ. He did awesome and gave me some really sweet smiles. This boy is going to be such a worshipper. He has such a sweet, cautious and lovable spirit. When he was a newborn he had some photos taken in an itty bitty wagon... So I thought it would be fun just to show case what a transformation can take place in a year! 

  

Love this one of him holding his baby photo.... :)

 Some photos with his big sister :) 

His monogram. 

Love this candid. He is such a sweet heart. 

There's another smile! 

Wish I could show this series a little larger... It's adorable :) 

Connor loves his blankie! 

And one with his whole family. This was my favorite from the day. 

I'm so glad I got the opportunity to do these photos for them. They are a beautiful family, so giving, so in love with Jesus, desiring to be in tune with His spirit and follow His calling on their lives no matter what direction He takes them. I love how they are teaching their kids to live lives of worship and listen to the voice of their heavenly daddy. They are such encouragers to us. We are so blessed by their friendship and support, the way they are always willing to listen and be there for us. We love you guys!!