random thoughts from the sofa

Just a bunch of not-so-pieced-together thoughts of mine....

First, I really do have a whole series on organization compiled and ready to be posted. And I planned on posting it beginning.... yesterday. But I want it to be inspiring for spring cleaning. And as of yesterday... it was snowing. I don't know how many were feeling the "spring" vibe at all, so I'm waiting til next week to post the whole series. Second, I have a fun little list of items to be on the lookout for if you are wanting to add some cute trendiness to your spring/summer wardrobe. But.... I have not been taking many pictures at all right now and that post doesn't seem like it'd be much fun in my mind without some photos. So, it's gonna wait too. Which brings me to this: random thoughts post. So, in no specific order, here we go.

I keep dreaming about spring/summer entertaining. Eating on our back porch. Fresh herbs and vegetables. Grilling. Using our fire pit, having friends over. A mason jar of flowers from my backyard in the middle of the table. Ahhh.... And even more than just the fact that all that sounds wonderful, in my mind, warm weather means I won't be sick anymore, and I'll have a nice little bump, and I'll be feeling this sweet little baby moving, and know if it's a boy or a girl! And that all combines to sound like heaven to me.

Isaiah will have been done nursing for a week tomorrow. So sad typing that :( He was only still nursing at nap time and bed time, but it was so hard to make him stop, and the first day he was hysterical. He didn't understand and he was bawling his eyes out. I tried to comfort him as best I could, but it took him awhile to finally calm down and fall asleep in my arms. I know it's best for my health and the health of this little one to keep as many nutrients from leaving my body as possible.

~Wrote everything above this point three days ago....

Since writing all that, I caught the flu somehow and felt the worst I have in a very long time, maybe ever, yesterday. On top of the pregnancy nausea and hormones and exhaustion I had a fever, chills, achyness, extra throwing up, a terrible headache.... Thank the Lord my fever left in the middle of the night last night and I'm on the road to recovery... just very weak and tired this morning.

The couple days prior to getting sick I really had started to have breakthrough in this whole first trimester sickness thing. Not that the sickness was gone, but I just felt this overwhelming peace and grace to function through it, like Jesus was carrying me and giving me joy in the midst of difficulty. I seriously feel his arms around me right now. It is incredible.

I love this little baby so much. I find myself resting my hand over my stomach as I fall asleep, or random times throughout the day. Just protecting, loving.... I'm so thankful for this life.

My house is so disorganized, I feel so out of control, so helpless right now. But not being in control is probably a good thing sometimes. And I know this is just a season. A very worth it season. I praise Jesus for joy in unexpected times, and the grace to let go and depend on Him.

An armful of baby

All I can think about writing today is how it feels to hold my boys. And wonder what it will feel like to hold this new little one next fall.

When I hold Drew he wraps his legs around my waist and puts his arms perfectly around my neck and wiggles his little fingers until they've found just the right position on my shoulders. He lays his head so softly on my shoulder. When he wants me to hold him if he's in a quiet mood he will just come and stand in front of my with his arms out stretched. He knows I can't resist scooping him up. He is such a sweet, calm little snuggler. He gets himself tucked in just right, often holding my hand, and he still falls asleep in my arms every naptime and bed time. I adore it.

When I hold Isaiah, even  from the time he was a baby I have always noticed the way my arms feel so full, wrapped around his chubby little legs and bum he feels so soft and snuggly. He collapses onto me, his tousled blonde hair pillowing on my shoulder, fistfuls of my shirt in his chubby hands. He is a burrower, a tosser and turner, but a snuggler none the less. I can hear the sound of his yawn in my head when i picture him dropping his head on my shoulder.

They sleep in the middle of our bed every night and they end up snuggled together each morning in a different position every time.

Two boys. So unique. So sweet. It makes me look forward to what the next baby will feel like in my arms.

#3

So, baby Kauffman #3 is on the way. :) 

I wanted to wait until I had my ultrasound before I made the announcement, but it seems I can't post anything else on here until I just go ahead and make this public. I am good at keeping other people's secrets, but no good at keeping my own. This was bound to leak out one way or another if I tried typing about anything else...  

Our little sweetie is due somewhere around October 22nd. I'm almost 9 weeks. I am so excited. And also so sick. 

I hate food. I love food. I need food. I don't want to need food. I can't think about anything I've already eaten, only what I will eat in the future. I'm so very thankful for apple cider. And carbohydrates in all forms. I'm throwing up, but not as many times a day as I did with Drew and Isaiah. 

Shaun is my hero. He has always helped out a ton when I felt like this before, but this time we already have two babies to take care. He is seriously gracious and joyful and caring and tells me things like "thank you for going through all this for our baby." 

When I throw up Isaiah comes into the bathroom and rubs my knee and says "done. done." Sounds sweet right? But if I don't actually be "done" like he wants he starts closing the toilet lid on my head. 

We just flew home from Florida last night. On the flight home Drew let me lay my head on his lap and he rubbed my back. Drew refers to this baby as his sister. We will see. :) 

Isaiah lifts my shirt and says "bebe" and kisses my belly. I think he just thinks we are talking about my belly button. He lifts his own shirt and says bebe too. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Drew I almost passed out. Seriously never imagined the adrenaline rush that would come with my first ever positive pregnancy test. When I found out I was pregnant with Isaiah I couldn't believe it. I thought "I already did this. How can it be happening again??" I was thrilled just couldn't believe I could really be going through it all over again. This time when I found out my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of "Well, it's been two years since the last positive test, of course I'm pregnant again, this is what happens."

So, here I sit, feeling nauseous but so, so excited. And super happy to let the secret out :) 

26

Today's my 26th birthday. That is the first time my age has sounded old to me. I know it's not really, but it feels like it right now.

I haven't posted much on here lately.... I have good reasons too. ;)

But I really do have plans for fun posts soon...
An organizational series, fun spring outfits, and other things...

So I won't be MIA from here too much longer.

So far today Shaun took me to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and my sister in law is coming over this afternoon and my family is coming over tonight. I am excited for ice cream and cake, but more excited for punch. :)

Anyway... I promise this season of absence will end, and I'll "see" you all soon with fun stuff :)