Tuesday, June 5, 2012

random thoughts on life in random order.

I want so badly to blog about the photo shoot I did last night... one of my favorites by far! but, I can't yet because it is a SURPRISE! So maybe in a month or so I will be able to post the photos... they are awesome. Great setting, great lighting, great subjects, and, did I mention, a great surprise! :)

Isaiah is scooching himself all over the place... combination army crawling, inchworming, rolling, and push up positioning to get where he wants to go. He can get back up into a sitting position from his belly too. He just hasn't quite figured out the crawling thing yet. But it's ok, cause once that boy starts going he's never going to stop. He also has a fascination with doors... if he's in a room with a door he army crawls/inchworms himself over to it and just pushes it back and forth. Same with cabinets and drawers. I'm thinking there's something prophetic there... open doors... I don't know, something.

Drew is my little friend. We talk all day long. He is so very proper and specific with his words. He asks "is this mine?" "is this ours?" "is this for me?" "is this my space?" etc. etc. all the time. He's very conscious of not taking something that is not his.

I have puppy bi-polarism. Sometimes I love him, sometimes I hate him. (Usually with the latter being the more commonly felt emotion) Sometimes my only calming thought is that I could put him in a box at the end of the driveway with a free sign on him if I wanted to. This is not to say that he is not a good dog. He is. But he's a puppy, and puppies chew, and poop, and need attention, and I already have two babies, and sometimes I feel like the multi-tasking and referee-ing that go on in a day are going to drive me to the edge of crazy. Drew and Zion have a similar relationship to me and Zion. They are either snuggling, or antagonizing each other. Drew will have a toy, Zion bounds out of nowhere, snatches it from him, and runs around the house with Drew chasing him screaming frantically and waving his arms. But somewhere deep inside, and I mean very deep, so deep that I sometimes can't feel it at all, I have bonded with our little puppy. Because I can't really imagine not having him here. It's like I want him here and want him gone in the same second. Basically, I'm just trying to keep my sanity until he grows out of the puppy stage and we can have a normal, peaceful household again, with a nicely trained doggy to go along with it all. (Realistic dream? probably not... but it's still a dream I'm holding out for...) Anyways.... enough puppy ranting for now... I mean, we did this willingly, and I really shouldn't complain. He is so very cute.

Marriage. Another subject on my mind quite a lot. Last night the boys were in the tub, and Shaun and I were both in the bathroom with them, talking, splashing, exhausted, communicating about life. I looked at him in the eyes and couldn't help but think how much I love our life together. Sleep deprivation, figuring out parenthood, trying to be there for everyone all at the same time, finances, cleaning, long work days. It's the beautiful mess of marriage and I am so thankful Shaun picked me to do it all with. As I thought about writing about marriage I hesitated and almost decided not to. Simply because there are no words for it. It is too much, there is so much depth to it, a single glance in the eyes of someone who knows what you're thinking the second you look at them, the whole mystery of two becoming one is just barely comprehendible anyways, without trying to describe how much you love someone to the whole world.

Shaun- you show me Jesus day after day after day. Your patience, your gentleness, the way you play with our babies and work so hard for us and thank me for all that I do. Your compassionate heart, your lifestyle of worship, your protection of me. You are amazing. I'm so thankful I get to do life with you. I love you babe.

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