Tuesday, August 14, 2012

My best friend

I was sixteen the first time I saw Shaun. My family took a summer to try out different churches and see if God was calling us somewhere else. A beautiful white church, a hot summer day, a friendly welcome, a sense that God was indeed calling us to this place. And my first glimpse of the man that would one day be my husband. He was playing the drums on the worship team. I was in a relationship at the time that I knew wasn't good for me. I remember thinking "If there's someone like that out there how can I be settling for this?" I had no idea I would one day be blessed enough to date him, I just knew that he gave me hope that there really were guys out there who loved Jesus with their whole heart. And that's what I knew I wanted. The previous relationship was ended within a week of our first visit to that church, even though I wouldn't begin to date Shaun for another 9 months.

Seventeen, a missions trip to Honduras, a last minute decision that Shaun would go too, a dock, hammocks, moonlight over a lagoon, the night he told me he liked me. My world was forever changed. I recently read back over my journal entries from that time in my life. I was SOO content in who Jesus was making me into, so full of peace, so trusting that He knew the plans He had for me, the whole thing was just a beautiful trust fall into God's will for my life. I had been in so much inner turmoil the year leading up to that moment. It is so cool to see how as I surrendered to Him, it was like He gently removed a blindfold that had been over my eyes to all my life could be in Him. I have never looked back. To be who and where God wants me is all I will ever ask for.

I had so much fun dating Shaun. So. Much. Fun. We dated for three years and three months before we said "I Do." And now we've been married for almost five years. We have both grown and changed so much since we've been married. We've started to really become who we need to be for each other, not just for ourselves. We've learned about parenting together, running our own businesses together, making a home together. (Next season: learning about being in church leadership together.) Marriage will change you. It requires compromise, selflessness, putting someone else's needs of equal importance with your own. I love feeling like a team with this man.

I won't say this is always easy. We don't get to go on dates just the two of us very often. Sometimes we spend so much of our time just on the day to day basics, who's changing this diaper? did Drew eat all his dinner? What time will you be home from work? do i need to go to the post office or are you? did you let your mom know what time we'd be over for dinner? can you brush Drew's teeth tonight? here, hold Isaiah while I do the dishes.... We focus on so many other things, tasks, raising our kids, and fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day. Well, last Friday, we went on a date. And it was the best night I've had in a LONG time. I felt like I spent the night with my best friend who I haven't seen in a while. This might sound silly, but I really like my husband! We spent several hours just focused on each other. No distractions, carefree, playing, flirting, acting like when we were teenagers again. No babies to take care of for a few hours. It was so, so good. I don't know why we waited so long to do it. I'm still feeling all up on cloud 9 from it. If you are married, and the routine of life has sucked some of the romance out of your relationship, go on a date!!! It's so good to remove all the responsibilities for a little bit and just see their heart! So simple, and so profoundly good.

The reason for this whole entry is that tomorrow Shaun will be twenty seven. He was eighteen when I started dating him. We're coming up on a decade of years that my heart has belonged to him. And not only do I love him more and more and more, but I like him too! Happy birthday, love!!

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