I was still working at the hospital doing ultrasound. My due date was Sept. 6th. I worked either two or three days every other week, and the week before my due date was scheduled to be a two day week. Since I was so close to my due date I was kind of setting my own schedule. I decided to work the monday and tuesday before my due date just to get it over with and hopefully have almost a whole week to finish up my to-do list, spend quality time with Drew, and rest. After working two days in a row I came home Tues. night and didn't sit down all night. I was outside weeding the flower garden, I was uploading photos and clearing my camera card, I was journaling... I finally went to sleep around 11:00 p.m. after writing in my journal that I was having contractions but doubted they were the real thing because I didn't want to get my hopes up. I remember I was actually sleeping well for the first time in weeks, when at 1:30 a.m. I felt a pop and jumped out of bed (don't know how I managed to move so quickly...) to my water breaking. I remember saying over and over "my water's breaking! my water's breaking!" and Shaun shooting out of bed like there was a fire and asking what to do. My first thought was that I was mad I had left dishes unwashed in the sink, and I thought about telling him to go wash them. My second thought was that he should probably pack, and I told him so... He was done in about 5 seconds and asking "What now?" Meanwhile I was standing there unable to move and leaking all over the floor and so my third thought (that probably should have been my first thought) was for him to get the large pad I had sitting at the foot of the bed. Even though it was right under his nose he couldn't see it for the life of him. Funny how adrenaline rushes make you act so crazy. I remember my knees were shaking and I was shivering and Shaun was staring blindly at the pad when we heard little footsteps come down the hall and Drew came into our room with a sleepy, bashful smile on his face and looked at Shaun and said "Daddy...." just smiling at him. That little piece of sweet normalcy was enough to calm us down and make us laugh a bit.
I remember carrying Drew back to bad and laying down next to him, waiting for him to fall asleep and crying into his hair because I had worked all night instead of playing with him, and it had been my last night having just him, all the while timing my contractions.
My parents came over so my mom could stay the rest of the night here with Drew while we went to the hospital. They prayed over me. We made it to the hospital around 3:30. My contractions had been steadily around 5 minutes apart, but not hurting a bit. While in triage they saw that my heart rate was elevated at 120, so they began pumping me full of fluids to try to get my heart rate down. After hydrating me to the maximum, and making me have to pee about every 2 minutes instead of every 5 like I had been, my contractions started getting further apart instead of closer together. At 5:30 a.m. I was exhausted but walking the hallways and getting in the shower, doing everything I could to start my contractions back up and wearing myself out completely in the process. I ended up sleeping from about 6:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. At 8:30 a.m. they started me on pitocin. I was determined I wasn't having any pain killers whatsoever (bad experience with my epidural with Drew, plus I wanted to go as natural as possible this time around) so I was so disappointed when they had to start the pit. I had been at 5 cm since I got to the hospital and was not progressing any further without it though. So I sucked it up, ruled out the option of having anything for pain in my mind, and went through the most painful 4 hrs of my entire life. As soon as the pitocin was started it got bad, but it continued to get worse and worse and worse until I was the crazy girl down the hall screaming and probably scaring every other girl in the hospital. I just remember hanging onto Shaun's neck for dear life through every contraction and saying "dear God!" over and over. I never got back in control of my pain levels and was totally panicking, freaking out, having an almost out of body experience by the end. I totally gave into fear of pain and it took over. I have not forgotten the experience a whole year later. This is not to scare anyone, this is to say, don't give in to fear like I did. When I finally was ready to push it only took six minutes for Isaiah to be born, even with shoulder dystocia. And he was here, and screaming, all 9 lbs 14 oz. of him. I held him on my chest and went completely limp, having given absolutely everything I had to bring him into the world, so thankful he was here. And he is worth every bit of it, and more.
Very much his true personality (6 months old)
(Actual six months photos here)
Photos I used as the theme of his upcoming first birthday party (10 months old)
(11 months old)
Eating. One of his favorite things to do. This nectarine in particular is a funny story... We were at the grocery store and I turned my back for a second and when I looked back he had managed to get this from the display near the cart and was munching contentedly...
I sit here this morning, he is walking and crawling around, making car noises with his lips, getting into everything, being so much himself. He is such a joy to us. He is so unique. He eats sand. He splashes in the toilet if he gets a chance. He tries to go down stairs head first. We have nick-named him pterodactyl... for the screeching scream he does when he needs something as simple as a sip of water, or another bite of toast... He is a passionate little person already. :) He has perfect full lips, soft, wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes, and a dimple in his right cheek. He's still got his rolly baby legs with no real ankle definition... but the rest of him is starting to thin out a bit and he looks so much more like a boy than a baby now... He's got so much to say, he has a couple words in his vocabulary already. Simple ones, mama, dada, hi, buh bye and some sound effects. But I have a feeling once he starts really talking he won't ever stop :) So much I want to remember. I wish I could bottle it up and keep every second, each moment, of it forever.
My sweet boy. One year ago today marks not just his birthday, but also the last day I worked, the beginning of being a stay at home mom. It is my greatest joy.
Isaiah Matthew, I am so thankful for you baby. Our family would not be complete without you. You are such a light, a joy, a little firecracker. You remind me of myself. You look like me. And you have already taught me so much. My prayer for you is that would know Jesus, that you would learn to harness your passion and use it constructively, that your loud voice would be a tool to speak truth and testify to the love of our Father, and that your strength will be a rock for others to lean on in times of weakness, but ultimately point them to God, for the joy of the Lord is our strength, and He will always be yours. I love you so much sweetheart, and I am having so much fun watching you develop your little personality and become more and more independent as you explore your world to the fullest. Happy first birthday, tato head :)