Maybe this won't be the most entertaining read for others, but it's the most entertaining "write" for me... I love reflecting on my babies :)
I love photography, I love capturing sweet moments between my boys, or their silly expressions, or their joy over the tiniest things... But sometimes, when my instinct is to go for the camera, something stops me. I don't want to always be taking in sweet moments through a lens. Sometimes, you have to just take it in through your eyes. No camera in the way. No stressing about getting it on the right setting and clicking the shutter before the moment passes. Just savoring it, soaking it in, and knowing that whether or not anyone else gets to see their affection, you'll be able to see it in your mind's eye forever.
I'm not feeling the greatest today. Not deathly sick, but definitely not myself. So we took it easy today. After lunch I pulled up the movie cars on the laptop (it is Drew's favorite right now) And we climbed in bed and pulled up covers and snuggled. Drew asked for a "cage"- no one else would be able to guess what he's talking about, but for whatever reason that's what he says when he wants my arm around him. To feel secure and protected, to be snuggled.... He says, "mommy, want, cage." And so I slip my arm around him and he snuggles in :) Anyway, Isaiah was laying on my lap, sideways, with his head toward Drew, and every now and then he'd stretch his neck and look back, upside down, at Drew and smile and coo, and Drew would take his eyes off the movie and look at Isaiah and smile back, and kiss his forehead. So tenderly. He's so proud of his baby brother. One of the times Isaiah looked back at Drew he reached out and grabbed Drew's hand, and Drew wrapped his little boy fingers around Isaiah's and they just held hands and smiled at each other. It was a moment. I so wish I could share it, but I lived in it instead. And it was the sweetest thing. There's something about their little baby hands that just melts me, and I could cry just thinking about it. The dimples instead of knuckles, the chubby wrists, the way they reach out to you and grab hold of your heart and you know you'll never be the same. They just held on and laughed little boy laughs with each other and swayed their hands back and forth, and I just took it all in. The moment ended when Isaiah pulled Drew's hand toward his mouth and tried to stuff it in, and Drew said "No, saiah, not food, don't eat it," and pulled his hand back. :)
So there it is. A mental photograph. They say a picture paints a thousand words, and I most definitely did not use a thousand words to paint this picture for you, but I'm pretty sure a thousand words couldn't do it justice anyway. I hope someday when I come back and read this I'll not only see it again, but hear it, feel it, and be moved by it too. Maybe I'm silly, I mean, it's just one moment. But for me, I live for the sweet moments like that.