"Don't let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one."
I am in such an emotional/contemplative mood... Reading this quote for the first time just moments ago nearly brought me to tears. In fact, I am still fighting them. Maybe I should just give in. My sweet boys. My heart and soul. My innocent little babies. I want so badly to be all that I can be as their mom, exactly who they need me to be. But it's a learn-as-you-go kind of job. God, help me. Children come into this world so innocent, so dependent, so pure. Help me protect their innocence, love them through their struggles as they wrestle life and learn who they are, and see their sweetness instead of the tantrum they are throwing.
"I suppose since most of our hurts come through relationship, so will our healing. And I know grace rarely makes sense from the outside looking in." (The Shack)
Life is so much more complex than I thought it was as a child. All I know is that I want grace and love to prevail in my life. Who am I to judge? By the measure we judge others we too will be judged. I would prefer to always err on the side of mercy. And I want to always choose relationship instead of offense.
I read my journal from 2004/2005 the other day. God did so much in me. And he continues to. I pray He is never finished with me. Actually, I know He never will be, I just hope I never start to act like He is. The two quotes that helped to begin to change my life:
"There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain."
"You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be."
(Both from The Purpose Driven Life."